The Bodygaurd

Only this ain't no love story...

Sing it with me now,

And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, will alwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays loathe you!

Allow Me To Introduce Myself (Part 1)

Preface: Me + Newborn = Delirious from lack of sleep.  All typos, muddling and  discombobulation found in this post are solely the responsibility of said Newborn.

The Mafiosos think the new kid on the block is alright.  It looks like the baby is a made man and his name has been permanently written in the books. 


It is quite interesting for me to see how each dog is reacting to the newest member of our family.  I sort of had some idea of how each dog would react based on the dog's personality.  But nothing prepared me for Vinnie's reaction to the baby.

Vinnie is in love.  And I mean, luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve. He can't get enough of the baby.  His tail will not stop wagging whenever the baby is in the room.  He needs to be near the baby 24/7.   He needs to smell the baby, kiss the baby, cuddle with the baby, sneeze on the baby...well, you get the idea.

"I think you're pretty cool too, Vinnie."

 

 I suppose that perhaps there is an unspeakable bond between a boy and his dog.  But it does start to cross the line when they start to resemble each other!

"No," instructs Vinnie.

"Ya gotta stick out your tongue a little more. . .

like this!"

 

I am really surprised by Vinnie's enthusiasm.  I knew he'd be the dog least affected by the new addition because Vinnie is pretty darn flexible.  There isn't much that bothers him or anything that he can't adjust to.  But I really didn't think he'd start a new love affair with the baby.


However, on the other end of the spectrum. . .

"Oh God!" proclaims Bruno.

"It's gonna bite me, isn't it?!"

Run, Weekday, Run!

I'm hoping this week flies by super fast . . .

I'm looking forward to the holiday weekend.  A day to sleep in is definitely a day to relish!  I suppose I should celebrate that I'm am halfway through the week.  But I can't help to wanting to kick Thursday out of the way. . .

Friday will be here before I know it!  And on Friday, I get to see Flight of The Conchords live.  I just hope my baby bump will also appreciate the music.  :)


What are you guys looking forward to this weekend?

Cravings

I'm really, really, really, really craving a sno-cone.

ARG! &#^$%&@*!(

Readers, I have some news. But I can't share just yet. I know, I know...I'm such a tease.

It will all make sense once I finally spill my guts why The Canine Mafioso blog has been a tad bit skimpy lately on material. Hang in there!!

I was about to post a montage of Bruno being silly in the spring shots...until I realized that out of the 45 shots I took, Carmela is either blocking half the space or she's somewhere in the shot being a pest. Figures!




So therefore, I hereby blame Carmela for ruining this week's post. What should her punishment be?

Oh Happy Day!

THE SUN IS OUT!

THE SUN IS OUT!!

THE SUN IS OUT!!!

Secret Agent Chi

Bruno? Have you seen Carmela anywhere? I can't seem to find her. . .

"Seriously? You can't see
that she's. . ." begins Bruno.

"BRUNO! Do I need to remind you what
happened to the last dog who
ratted me out?" threatens Carmela.

"He was never heard from again!!
Get my drift, meathead?"

:stress yawn:

"Uh, no Ma. . . I haven't seen her.
But if I run into her, I'll tell
her that you're looking for her."

A Friendly Warning

If you're doing holiday shopping this week, Bruno wants to be careful. There a lot of crazy shoppers and it's a jungle out there!

Turkey Recovery

Over here at Casa De Mafioso, we're recovering from too much turkey, pie, stuffing and mashed potatoes. I was pretty much recovered by the next day (what? did ya'll use Black Friday shopping as your cardio like I did?), but Bruno seems to need some extra time.

How about ya'll? Did you recover or are you heeding Bruno's advice to take the week to fully recover?

It's That Time. . .

It's that time of the year again! Time to eat mountains food. Time to spend holidays with friends and family. Time to be thankful for you, our readers, because you're so kind.

What, you didn't know? You so are! You are so kind, in fact, that you're giving Bruno and me the week off! You knew that I would stuff myself until I looked nine months pregnant and needed time to recuperate from gorging on turkey and all the fixings. And for that, Bruno and I thank you.

Bruno says "Have a rocking holiday!"

Yo!

See this face?



This face helps me out a lot. It somehow always knows when the yogurt in the fridge is very close to its use by date and is ready and willing to help make sure the yogurt is properly disposed of.




I don't even have to ask twice for help.





Lucky for me, this face is equipped with a very versatile tongue.





It can contort into various shapes to achieve maximum yogurt disposal.






Oh, but it doesn't end there. It can also fan out. That's right, it takes on different shapes depending on the requirement of the job.




But that's not all! It can also reach very far out so that no drop of yogurt meets the floor.





At least the floor manages to stay clean. . .






I can't complain I suppose. . . finding good help is hard.






And my helper is pretty darn handsome. I think I'll keep him around.

It's All About YOU!

"Hey, where is everyone?"asks Bruno.

"Hello? Anyone here want to play?"

"Anyone up for a game a hop-scotch?
Hello?
Bueller?"

Um, did you forget that this month is all about you Bruno? There is no one else but you.

"Oh yeah! That's right!
There was a poll and I won!"

"Oh yeeeeeeeah. . .
Life is good!"

"It's all about *me*!"

Just A Freakishly Large Taste

I thought I would give the readers a taste of what it's like hiking with Bruno. He's a barrel of fun. Unlike someone we know (::cough cough VINNIE cough cough::), he's completely uninterested in wild life caca. All he cares about is trekking.

"Let's go!!"

Occasionally he'll start to get a tad bit obsessive about finding a stick t0 chase, but mainly he's all about just trekking forward.

"Holy cow!
Will you quit bumping
your gums and get going!!"

He gets really impatient with you if he feels you are moving too slow. He waits in the middle of the road for you with this fake smile, as if saying "You move like a slug!"

"A slug is too fast
compared to how you move!"

But see, the hilarious part is that he tires out really quickly. In about 45 minutes, he starts to sneak off for some rest breaks. I find it hilarious because we've been hiking some serious trails once a week now for quite a while. It's not like this is his first hike.

The other comical aspect of this is that it's not as if we wouldn't notice that his big ol' butt is suddenly not standing in the middle of the trail waiting for us.

"I'm not resting!
I'm, um, checking the ground
for wildlife caca for Vinnie!"

He thinks he's real slick, doesn't he?

"I told you I'm NOT resting!
I'm checking out the local
wild flowers now."

Yeah, see, I'd almost believe you if it wasn't for the fact that you're laying down in the middle of WEEDS.


We tend to aim to hike in areas near rivers or streams so that his big butt can cool off quickly.

"Ahhhhh! My tootsies were burning!"

The water seems to recharge him. . .

"Let's go!!"

And we then go back to our ritual: him taking off and waiting for us impatiently in the middle of the road. Only to sneak off 45 minutes later.

"What can I say?
My union contract says
I'm entitled to frequent breaks
and I'm gonna take 'em!"

Slide Right Into It

A new week begins. I suppose for the optimists out there, this is good news. But for me, it just means that the weekend is still too far away.

It means a crazy work week filled with demanding vets and obnoxious horse owners. It means riding the bus for a 1.5 hour commute each way. It means less time to spend in the daylight now that the time has changed. It means. . .

"It means things are looking up!" says Bruno.

Say what?

"Look up!" explains Bruno.

Ok. I did. There's nothing there!

"Yes there is! There's opportunity!
Look, if life is a slippery slide. . ."

"Jump right in and enjoy the ride!"

"WOO HOO!"

Oh Lord. . . are you trying to give me a pep talk Bruno?

"Yes! I can see you'll be a hard sell,
but it's nothing I can't handle.
Here's some more advice for you. . ."

"Build a bridge and get over it!"

Ok, now that one totally made me laugh. Silly boy.

"Then my job here is done!
Now, go out there and
spread some smiles!"

They Call Him Bruno

Bruno has many nicknames. Most notably, his primary nickname in the blogging world is "FLH" which stands for Freakishly Large Head. It's the most apparent thing about him-- this huge head. Lord knows where he got it from, but it's here and it's here to stay.

See, I even have photographic proof that he was born with a normal-sized head. Somewhere he must have drank water laced with FLH hormones.



At home, he has much kinder nicknames bestowed to him by me.

Sometimes, because I think I'm funny, I'll call him "Burno." I use this nickname whenever he gets a hair up his ass and starts burning rubber in the yard. Get it? Burn + O = Burno? Which sounds a lot like Bruno. . . I know, I know: don't quite my day job.

My secret nickname for him (er, well, it was until I shared it with ya'll) is "Big Daddy." I affectionally call him this a lot. I'll ask "Where's my Big Daddy?" just to hear his humongous tail whacking away against the walls or nearby coffee table. When I call him this, I elicit rapid fire tail wagging and I live for that.

So I thought I'd share a recent picture of me and my Big Daddy. With his FLH in full glory. And, if you happen to decide I also have a FLH, please, don't tell me! :-)