Allow Me To Introduce Myself (Part 1)

Preface: Me + Newborn = Delirious from lack of sleep.  All typos, muddling and  discombobulation found in this post are solely the responsibility of said Newborn.

The Mafiosos think the new kid on the block is alright.  It looks like the baby is a made man and his name has been permanently written in the books. 


It is quite interesting for me to see how each dog is reacting to the newest member of our family.  I sort of had some idea of how each dog would react based on the dog's personality.  But nothing prepared me for Vinnie's reaction to the baby.

Vinnie is in love.  And I mean, luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve. He can't get enough of the baby.  His tail will not stop wagging whenever the baby is in the room.  He needs to be near the baby 24/7.   He needs to smell the baby, kiss the baby, cuddle with the baby, sneeze on the baby...well, you get the idea.

"I think you're pretty cool too, Vinnie."

 

 I suppose that perhaps there is an unspeakable bond between a boy and his dog.  But it does start to cross the line when they start to resemble each other!

"No," instructs Vinnie.

"Ya gotta stick out your tongue a little more. . .

like this!"

 

I am really surprised by Vinnie's enthusiasm.  I knew he'd be the dog least affected by the new addition because Vinnie is pretty darn flexible.  There isn't much that bothers him or anything that he can't adjust to.  But I really didn't think he'd start a new love affair with the baby.


However, on the other end of the spectrum. . .

"Oh God!" proclaims Bruno.

"It's gonna bite me, isn't it?!"

Tired of Being Tired

My get up and go must have got up and went!  I've been so exhausted these past four weeks and finally I received an answer as to why.  I was diagnosed with pregnancy induced diabetes earlier this week and will be meeting with my doctor soon to learn how to get my glucose levels under control.  In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying the montage of black and white pictures I have been posting.  I promise to come back soon and with a bang!

I'm So Tired

Presiding Pug

This week The Mafiosos are movin' on up.  Well they're  movin on up, to the east side. To a deluxe apartment in the sky. They finally got a piece of the piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!

Oh, no wait!  It seems I have confused The Mafiosos with The Jeffersons.  Whoops! But they did move to the east side.  An east side facing room that is.  The Mafiosos, crates and all, moved into a larger room in our house.  The smaller bedroom they occupied (and which I shared with them as this room also doubled as my office) is now instead being converted into the nursery.

So far the transition is going well.  And by well I mean that everyone but Bruno still runs into the old room when it's time to kennel up and end up with befuddled looks on their faces when they realize the room is empty.  Hopefully the rest of them will catch on!

Now that the room is empty, we've been working on getting stuff prepped and the closet emptied. We worked this week on getting a dresser built.  And when I saw "we," I mean Ryan.   I help every now and them, but heck, I'm incubating this precious cargo! That's enough heavy work right there!  :)

It's a good thing I have an excellent supervisor I can trust to make sure Ryan's doing things by the book.

"Don't you worry, Ma.  

I got things under control.

He's got all the proper building permits.  

It's best to leave us men to do what we do best...

BUILD!"

"Oh boy.  I don't think he knows what he's doing.

He needs to be reading those instructions!"

"I guess I better go over there and help him.

He looks a little perplexed."

"Lemme see those instructions. . ."

"Yup! That's it! 

 Put that little thingy into Tab A. . .

and then that other thing-a-ma-bob goes over into Tab B. . ."

"Hey, can I ask you something?

You know,  man to man. . .

I'll still be the baby around here, right?"

"Ok! The situation is under control!

We're gonna get this thing built!

Don't worry, Ma!"

Burrito Battles

Readers, I've had to start moderating the comments due to lots of spammers deciding to post "tips" on how to lose weight, see Megan Fox naked and make tons of money overnight. Rest assured that your comments are still being delivered, it's just a matter of getting my butt over to the computer to approve them.

In the meantime, The Mafiosos are currently making some cement shoes for the spammers to wear.






I also changed the layout of the blog because I was getting bored of the other one.  What do you all think?  Should I go back to the old one or keep this one?


Alright, now that we've got business matters out of the way, I need to be honest with my readers.  A while back I apologized for the lack of blog content in the month of February. I think I held the record for most sparse posts in a month. I promised you that soon I would share why and now the time has come.

Turns out The Mafiosos have opened The Books and added a name to the waste management business. Come this September, we'll be adding a two-legged member to our family.








I found out this great news in late January and because I hadn't passed the "Safe Zone" yet, I couldn't spill the beans. Even though I really, really, really wanted to! But now, here we are, three months later and now I can shout the news from the top of my lungs.

And let me tell you that shouting from the top of your lungs is a lot better than puking your lungs out. My energy has finally returned and all food now stays in my belly.

However, during those moments when nothing would stay down, I would find myself staring at my plate of food. It wasn't long before I had company. . .

"That's a mighty fine specimen of a burrito you got there.
What's wrong with it?
Why aren't you finishing it?"

Nothing's wrong with it. I just don't feel like eating the rest of it.

"Are you insane?!"

No, I'm pregnant. There's a difference. . . at least I hope there is.

"Oh, ok.
Well, can I have it then?
Don't you know a burrito's a terrible thing to waste? !"

No, you can't have it. You already had your breakfast and I don't need you getting diarrhea.

"I won't get diarrhea! I promise!
Just give me a little bite!"

I said NO. Here, I'll say it in Spanish also: NO. You're not supposed to be begging, let alone jumping on the table. You're being powerfully annoying.

"You want powerful?
I'll show you powerful!
I'll use my Jedi power to move the burrito into my mouth.
Now hush! I need to focus. . ."

"Come closer burrito!
Come to me!"

I see that's working really well for you.

"Dammit!
Maybe I can get it closer
by using my tongue."







"Never send an amateur do a pro's job.
You gonna finish that, Ma?"

Readjust

"Good Lord, that tongue does not do
any justice to your face," observes Carmela.

"It's, like, always sticking out!"

"You need a face readjustment...
There, that looks better!"

"What just happened??
I had a scary dream where
Carmela kept calling me a buttface!"

Green With. . . Embarrassment!

The Canine Mafiosos are green this St. Patrick's Day. They're green with embarrassment that it! On my recent shopping trip to Target, I discovered the $1 section had lots of St. Patrick's Day props. So, naturally, I grabbed what I could in order to deliver an awesome St. Patrick's Day post for you readers.

But you see, somehow Bruno got wind of my plans. I don't know how he did it, but he managed to scheduled himself a trip to San Francisco under the protective arms of his grandfather on the day I planned to do this photo shoot. Rats!


So I did what I could do...tortured the rest of the dogs. Only, as usual, Carmela was *not* having it. I'm used to it!

"Are you sure this hat makes me
look handsome?" asks Gino.

Yes, you look extraordinarily handsome. Now, get back on that blanket and lay down so I can get my shot!

"Um. . . is Bruno underneath
the hat?" asks Carmela.

"This is taking way too damn long.
More cookies. NOW!" demands Vinnie.

"Bruno? Are you under there,
meat head?" asks Carmela.

"I don't think this hat is for me," says Gino.
"I really need something that will bring
out the structure in my face."

Your face is flat, for Godsake's! YOU LOOK FINE. Now stop blocking Carmela and lay your pug butt down on that blanket so we can finish!




FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Where did Gino go??

"He said something about
a wardrobe change, " informs Carmela.

"There!
That's better!
Now I'm smokin'!" exclaims Gino.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Pug Patrol

When Ryan works late nights, I always feel secure having Bruno around.

But I never stopped to think what an excellent job the Pugs do at protecting me from squirrels. Even from inside the house, their job never stops.

I am grateful for my cinnamon-bun-tailed-patrol.



Think about your dog(s) for one second...now, what are you grateful for?

Holiday Break!

Readers, The Mafiosos would like to inform you that they will back in 2010. And with a bang. They will not let you down.

They have asked me to provide you with another "WTH?!" moment for this week's adventure.
Please feel free to caption. . .

Monday Madness

Posting on Tuesday and Thursdays has caused me to become backlogged on other tasks I need to complete around the house. I only realized this as I prepared to get dressed this morning and realized I have no clean clothes due to fiddle dicking on the internets all day Saturday and Sunday.

So readers, please forgive me, but I will have to post one weekly adventure from here on out. I will post every Wednesday. Every one needs a little pick me up on Wednesdays, right? The weekend is oh so near and we've gotten to the worst of the week over. All we need is a little push to remind us we can make it until Friday. And The Mafiosos will diligently give you that push. :-)

And, because I have no clever caption or reasoning behind this moment, I present to a famous "What the hell?!" Mafioso moment to help you survive Monday.

Taking The Blame

"Vinnie!
Get your curly-tailed ass
over here, now!" demands Carmela.






"Huh? Whatcha want?" asks Vinnie.
"Look deep into my eyes..." instructs Carmela.





"Ow! What are you doing?!
My brain hurts!
Everything...is...getting...dark....,"
mumbles Vinnie.



"Good! Now, listen to me!
When Ma comes into the kitchen,
you're going to tell her that it was YOU who
ate holes in her underwear.
Got that?
It was YOU."




"Shoot! Here she comes!
I better unhypnotize you quickly!
Abracadraba, Shama-lama-ding-dong, Shazzam!!"




"Now go!"





"Oh, hi!
Um, I was supposed to tell you something.
Dang it, what was it?
Oh yeah, um, I totally, like, baked your underwear.
Yeah, it was me that baked your underwear."

OH, HAI!

Whachoo doin' today?

War In The Morning

"Zzzzzzzzzz..."

Carmela! WAKE UP!

We're waiting for you to get up so we can start eating breakfast.

"Alright, alright!
I'm up. Jesus, it's bright in here!"

"Why do we always have to wait for her
in order to start breakfast?
It makes me sad to be so hungry!"

"Yeah, seriously.
I'm starving!" shouts Vinnie.

"Because, fart knockers," explains Carmela.
"The rule is: ladies first."

"Wait...you're a lady?!" asks Gino.

"Lemme clean my ear out...
I could've sworn I heard you wrong.
I could've sworn you said I wasn't a lady!" accuses Carmela.





"Yup. That's what I kind of said," replies Gino.





"THIS IS WAR!" declares Carmela.





"War?" asks Gino.
"More like a light massage.
You barely pack a punch!"

(notice a very worried fawn Pug in background)




"For breakfast, I want
ROASTED BLACK PUG!"





"Apologize or I'll go straight
for your jugular!" threatens Carmela.





"Apologize!" screams Vinnie.
"She's stressing me out!"