Monday Morning Funny

You Cannot Resist

"Hey! Where did you go?!"

"Oh! There you are!"

"Do you want to play with me and Mr. Rhino?
Come on! I know you do!"

"We won't hurt him...too much!
We'll just nibble on his leg!"

"Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!"

Murder Mystery

"Well, today seems like a boring day.
I wish something exciting would happen."

"OMG! Did you hear that?!
It sounded like a scream!"

"A dead squirrel!!"

I can verify, as a solid character witness, that The Mafiosos were not involved in the death of this poor squirrel. They happen to be in the vicinity when the poor squirrel passed on to acorn heaven.

Nevertheless, we're still calling our lawyer just in case...I'm just sayin'.

Take A Walk On The Wild Side...

The Mafiosos were recommend an excellent park to visit by their cousins Bison & Lindsay. A park where apparently horse, goat, pig, duck and goose poop are abound and plenty! A world of animal poop?! Why, that's a dream come true for The Mafiosos!

"Speed it, buster!"

But alas, once we arrived, it seemed the stars were not in our favor. For one, the glorious poop was all enclosed.

"So you're saying this no way
I can access your poop, huh?"





"Excuse me! Any way you could maybe
shove some of your poop through
this fence here for my brother and I?"





"Alright, how about you at least
let me lick your lips then??"

The Mafiosos were thoroughly disappointed about the poop issue. And then, my camera's battery died! But not before I was able to catch this incident...

"Um, excuse me, do you know where we could find some chickens?
Preferably, the Kentucky Fried Chicken kind?"

Raw Ramblings

They cats are now fully switched to 100% raw food. Gone is the kibble and free feeding. In its place is fresh, raw food served daily.

This helps me keep tabs on Blue; I can make sure she eats at all times and prevent a reoccurrance of the Fatty Liver Disease she experienced this past October.

It took me about forever and a day to make the switch, but, now that we have, I can't seem to comprehend why I didn't do this sooner. My two old ladies are acting like kittens again and their dandruff has completely gone away. While I am appreciate of these two things, I am not appreciative of the following:





Oh, I am sure to the naive person, this may just look like an innocent kitty hanging near its master. But no! That is not the case! That is Maggie stalking me, waiting for my eyes to open a tiny sliver to begin this...

"Gimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme
myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!"

You can try to tune her out. But that will only cause her to move closer and try her mind take-over skills.

"You will get up and
FEED ME NOW!"

"Dammit, I need to focus.
She's obviously not getting up quick enough."

Eventually, Maggie will park herself millimeters away from me and stare at me (in combination with yelling at me) to get my ass up out of bed and feed her breakfast.

"Food. In my mouth. Now."

Molly is at least more patient. She just excepts room service when breakfast is served.






Honestly, all it takes if for one certain cat to start staring. The minute Blue starts starting at me, I hustle my tuckus out of bed as fast as I can.

"I'm giving you two minutes to serve my breakfast
before I give you free plastic surgery
on your face with my claws."

But all the staring (and threats from Blue) are worth it when I see the end results. Glowing coats, minimal wastes in the litter box and teeth slowly returning to the color white. :-)

Princess Blue

I bought Blue a new collar. The message is fitting, isn't it?



What do you all think?

Making Up For Lost Time

I walked into the office to see a crime in progress.




I guess she's making up for lost time?!

Tiny Tinkerbell

I supposed to I should be used to Carmela's size by now. The fact that she is 3lbs shouldn't phase me anymore. But every now and then, it will.

Like, for example, when she hangs out near Bruno. My eyes almost pop out of my head when I see that Bruno's paws are bigger than her head.





Or how Blue, who weighs barely 11lbs, is waaaaaaay bigger than Carmela.



I hope this phase ends soon. My eyes can't keep popping out of my head on a daily basis. ;-)

Practicing... Canine Mafia!

In case they are ever arrested,
The Mafiosos have started lining up based on height.

A Girl's Gotta - Canine Mafioso

A girl's gotta find a way to work on her tan somehow in the winter!

Take It Off! ~!~Canine Mafia~!~

"Ma, take this sock off, please!
I promise to not lick my stitches..."

"You know fully well that he is lying.
He'll start to lick his stitches
two seconds after you take the sock off."

"Besides, Bruno in a sock provides so much comedic value!
Let's not waste the opportunity to post
pictures of him looking mighty foolish! "

"Whatchoo mean us looking foolish
is never a wasted opportunity??"

Rules Were Made To Be Broken - Canine Mafia

Remember when I told you readers that I have a "No Dogs On The Couch Rule?"

Can someone please remind Ryan of that rule??







Heck, I guess I'm overruled!

"Resistance is futile."

p.s. For a few weeks, you'll be saying "Canine Mafia," "The Dogfathers," or "Canine Mafioso" right after the title posts. I'm trying to help speed along Google's instance to keep linking to the old domain name (which no longer works! YAY!).




Canine Mafia, Canine Mafioso, Canine Mafiosos, dogfathers

Portraits of The Canine Mafia

The Mafiosos have been very nice to me lately. They've been posing so very nicely for headshots.











But where's Bruno? Well, you see, his Freakishly Large Head (FLH) won't fit in my lens!

But I won't disappoint the Bruno fans out there...

Here is a baby FLH picture. :-)

Testing!!

I am glad you were all present for the test. ;-)




I was testing earlier why our old domain name still has my Blogger website up when, clearly, this is the new domain address I asked Blogger to redirect to.

The old domain name was http://www.caninemafioso.com

One day, I received an email from GoDaddy! explaining that my domain name had expired and someone else had snatched it up. Alright, whatever.

So I registered caninemafiosos.com (just added an "s" to the domain name) and here we are at the new blog. However, my old blog (with a very old post) still appears. How come someone else own the domain name yet still have my material up there? Blogger has been no help. GoDaddy! has been no help.

:::Throws hands up in the air:::

Why do I care? That's the million dollar question! The only reason I care is because it seems that 50% of the hits to queries for "canine mafia," "canine mafiosos," and "dogfathers" all land at the old address.

/end rant



Here is my payment for reading this nonsense, non-dog related post. :-)

My Buddy and Me

Today, Bruno had a date with his friend Parker. It's been a long time since these two got together, so a trip to the snow was in order.


Parker is, however, always fashionably late. He was in charge of getting the coffee, so Bruno patiently waited for him to arrive.

"He better have ordered my
double mocha nonfat grande cappuccino
at exactly 108 degrees F!"

When we finally got there, Parker kept running around screaming "BRUNO HAS GOT A FREAKISHLY LARGE HEAD!!!"








So Bruno tried very hard to shrink his FLH in an effort to appease Parker.

"Come on, head! Shrink!"

Good thing Auntie Lisa was there to help Bruno out. She had a long talk with him to just embrace his FLH and be himself.

"Don't listen to Parker, Bruno.
Your FLH is lovely!"

"Ok, Auntie Lisa.
I will just be my freakishly large headed-self!"

With Bruno's confidence back on the mark, Bruno called Parker over for some investigative work.

"Hey, Parker!
Get over here!"




"What??" asks Parker.
"What is it?"






"I think there might be some Milk Bones
buried here that fell outta my Ma's pockets!"







"Oooooh...I'm not allowed to have those!" exclaims Parker.
"Let's find them!"

The day was soon over and it was time to head home. The boys had lots of fun and it appeared that Parker was feeling a little lovey dovey...

"I wish I knew how to quit you, Bruno," says Parker.

"Ummm...I'm gonna pretend
that you never tried to kiss me," says Bruno.

"Parker trying to kiss me was just a bad dream.
Just a bad dream!"