Craptastic Day

After being told Blue was doing so well that she could come home today, I instead received news that she is vomiting again and her nausea has returned full force. So she needs to stay tonight at the vet's for monitoring. It has been one week since she's been hospitalized; we are walking on eggshells, praying hard that she recovers swiftly. This is how my craptastic day started. All I kept thinking about was Blue and I was in a funk all day long.





I only prayed that the evening could get better...and it did.

I came home to discover Carmela had a package waiting for her. I quickly asked her what the hell she had ordered this time and started to fear she racked up massive debt ordering cookies, collars and beds online. I had visions of begging the vet to let me make payments on Blue's bill and hoping the vet would believe that Carmela maxed out my credit card.

But then I quickly remembered that usually packages addressed to Carmela come from our very good friends. I took one look at the return address and felt myself smiling when I read the name "Diamond."




Diamond is an American Bulldog who has the best smile in the entire world. She's also Bruno's girlfriend, albeit a long-distance one.

"Dontcha wish your smile
was hot like mine?"

Diamond is best known for The Couch Incident. Diamond one day got stuck in the couch. Her mom, Susan, came home to find this scene:




This is one of the many reasons we love Diamond. :-) Diamond also shares Bruno's addiction to Block Dog Collars. See, they were meant to be!

Diamond and Bruno frequently talk to each other about the humiliations they are constantly put through. They talk about running away together and never having to wear another silly outfit again.




But they usually come to their senses once they realize that it would be very tough for them to buy cookies and toys (especially Frisbees!) without their moms.

Back to the package...

Carmela was ecstatic to receive another gift in the mail.

"I bow down to thee
glorious package!"






"Lemme go get some
scissors to open it up."





"Ooooooh...what is all this?"






"Boots! No, make that
GOLD BOOTS!
And shirts! Woo hoo!"

I think these shirts are highly appropriate. One reads "High Maintenance." Another says "Dog Park Queen." The last one is I think meant for me... Susan, are you calling me a ho?! :p




Diamond wrote a beautiful letter welcoming Carmela to the family.


Dear Carmela,

It is with much respect that I send you these shirts as a sign of my desire for a continued good relationship between the east coast Family and the west coast Family. If I can ever do you a favor--such as the removal of a particular individual in your household who might be holding you to unreasonable expectations of behavior, I'm just sayin'--please do not hesitate to give me some indication that you wish it to be so. I would be honored to execute the contract on your behalf.

With best regards,

Diamond "The Muscle"

P.S. I am also enclosing some gold lamé boots in case someone needs some extra presuading.

"Thank you, Diamond!"

p.s. I did not try to boots on Carmela yet as I did not want her to use Diamond's personal favor of "removing" me from the household for causing Carmela strife!