Just A Freakishly Large Taste

I thought I would give the readers a taste of what it's like hiking with Bruno. He's a barrel of fun. Unlike someone we know (::cough cough VINNIE cough cough::), he's completely uninterested in wild life caca. All he cares about is trekking.

"Let's go!!"

Occasionally he'll start to get a tad bit obsessive about finding a stick t0 chase, but mainly he's all about just trekking forward.

"Holy cow!
Will you quit bumping
your gums and get going!!"

He gets really impatient with you if he feels you are moving too slow. He waits in the middle of the road for you with this fake smile, as if saying "You move like a slug!"

"A slug is too fast
compared to how you move!"

But see, the hilarious part is that he tires out really quickly. In about 45 minutes, he starts to sneak off for some rest breaks. I find it hilarious because we've been hiking some serious trails once a week now for quite a while. It's not like this is his first hike.

The other comical aspect of this is that it's not as if we wouldn't notice that his big ol' butt is suddenly not standing in the middle of the trail waiting for us.

"I'm not resting!
I'm, um, checking the ground
for wildlife caca for Vinnie!"

He thinks he's real slick, doesn't he?

"I told you I'm NOT resting!
I'm checking out the local
wild flowers now."

Yeah, see, I'd almost believe you if it wasn't for the fact that you're laying down in the middle of WEEDS.


We tend to aim to hike in areas near rivers or streams so that his big butt can cool off quickly.

"Ahhhhh! My tootsies were burning!"

The water seems to recharge him. . .

"Let's go!!"

And we then go back to our ritual: him taking off and waiting for us impatiently in the middle of the road. Only to sneak off 45 minutes later.

"What can I say?
My union contract says
I'm entitled to frequent breaks
and I'm gonna take 'em!"