Apr 30, 2009

Falling Falls


"I know that smell!"

Get your freakishly large head
out the window, now!" shouts Vinnie.

"What?" asks Bruno.
"Is there something cool on the ground?"

"No!" exclaims Vinnie.
"Can't you smell it?!"

"Smell what?" asks Bruno.
"The CACA!" replies Vinnie.

"Oh yeah!" says Bruno.
"Now that you mention it, I do smell something!
It does smell like caca! It smells like..."

"Cow Caca!"

Cow caca!"

"I think you should abandon this blog," suggests Carmela.
"Start a new one that's all about me.
Seriously, all the boys do is talk about caca."

"Uhhh...she's kidding right, Ma?"

"No. No I'm not."

"You're not going to listen to her,
right Ma?"

No, I'm not starting a new blog all about Carmela. There isn't a blog big enough in cyberspace to contain her ego. Now that that's settled, let's share today's hike to Beale Falls.

"Woot! Let's get this hike started!"

"There's caca over there,
I just know it!" shares Vinnie.

So by now you've all probably figured out that Vinnie is obsessed with caca. The larger the animal, the better. Had I known that the Beale Falls trail also borders cow farming land, I might have changed my mind about going there. But luckily for Vinnie, I did not know this fact and he managed to, how do I put this delicately, take advantage of this fact when I wasn't looking.

My nose is always green!
You just never noticed before!"

The end goal of Beale Falls is a beautiful waterfall. But getting there is no easy task. Luckily, the scenery along this hike is gorgeous. There is land as far as the eye can see....

(yes, I've probably have been visiting Perez Hilton waaaay to much this past week!)

Or, you could just be a tiny dog and everywhere you go is expansive. Hehehe...

"Very funny.
Don't quit your day job."

"Size doesn't matter!
Anything those stupid boys can do,
I can't do better!"

Because climbing rocks is hard?"

Ok, you two, enough bickering. Let's get back to the hike. We're almost to the part where we share with the readers how we finally found the waterfall.


"We made it!"

It was worth the sweat, tears and mulptile spills I took to finally see this waterfall.

"Vinnie wants to know if there's
cow caca down there?"


Apr 29, 2009

Let's Give 'Em a Mafioso Welcome...http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

If you have time today, would you please stop by and visit our friend Red's blog? He's new to the blogging world and we want you to get to know him.

Red lives with six kitties, so it's never a dull moment in Red's house!

Originally uploaded by relark

Apr 26, 2009

Why I Constantly Laugh

Pia at Just Another Dog Blog tagged us to participate in"Five Things I Laugh At, But Shouldn't."

So here we go...

1) Gino "Attacks" Bruno

I should not laugh at this. In fact, I should never even let this occur.

Whenever Bruno is playing fetch, whether it be with a stick or ball, he gets into a state that my friend Lisa calls "Lizard Brain." He cannot focus on anything else but the object being thrown and will obsess his full focus on the object until it is thrown.

This pisses Gino off. I've never understood why, but perhaps having a big brother who goes into "Lizard Brain" mode so quickly annoys Gino. Gino will first bark at Bruno...that never works. Gino then launches himself with full force and latches onto Bruno's jowls. Bruno is in la-la land and doesn't notice Gino. This will eventually continue until Bruno's jowls are bloody.

From The Dogfathers

Those who have witnesses this in person will ask in amazement "Bruno lets Gino do that?!"

I don't think it's a question of "letting" but more a question of "Does Bruno even notice that a black pug is hanging from his jowls?!"

I try not to let Gino do this. I will hold him back if Bruno is playing fetch so that Bruno can go home with his jowls intact. But every now and again Gino breaks free from my grip and runs full force towards Bruno, ready to taste some American Bulldog jowls.

2) Carmela Doesn't Share

One weekend, Ryan built a beautiful bed for the crew. He painstakingly designed it, began to build it and stained it a beautiful, rich color (not shown in the picture below).

The entire time he would comment to me "I hope Bruno loves this bed. This is mainly for Bruno and his hips. Hopefully, his hips will hurt less on this comfy bed."

Enter Carmela.

She decided that Bruno is not allowed on the bed and, if he stupidly decides to try, she'll bite his freakishly large head off. And she has. Frequently. Which results in a lot of this...

Yes, that is a three pound dog preventing a hundred plus pound dog from sharing a very large bed. Yes, that is my hundred plus pound dog with hip and elbow displaysia laying on the floor (albeit with a small rug runner for some comfort). But what can you do? Every male knows it's in their best interest to not mess with a b*tch.

3) Bruno's Fear of Binder Clips

My big, tough, muscular American Bulldog ...

can be brought to quivers with the mere possession of a binder clip.

Yes, that's right, a binder clip.

Close your eyes Bruno!

He can spot them a mile away and run for the hills. Or, if the situation is dire, move full-sized mattresses out of the way to escape them. Right, Lisa?

I have to give him credit; he tries. He barks at them ferociously and sometimes even cautiously approaches them.

But it always ends with the binder clip winning. Call me cruel, but witness it for yourselves...

"Oooh! A cookie! Cool!
WTF?!? That's not a cookie!"

::::stress yawn::::

::::low rumble growl::::

notice event #2 occurring in the background

"That's it!

We're working on this issue. Step one is for me to stop laughing as soon as he sees the binder clip.

4) Vinnie Has Limits

This is Vinnie.

Vinnie eats cat poo whenever the opportunity presents itself. In fact, all poo is a delicacy. Cow poo, fox poo, geese poo, duck poo, horse poo...all excrement titillates his palate.

But heavens forbid you fart while he is in the room with you. He'll give you a face of utter disgust and leave the room. Honestly, he acts like you just unleashed a weapon of mass distruction and the smell is too much for him to take. This from a dog who eats poo! I wish I had a picture of the face he makes, but that would mean I'd to admit to farting. And I don't do that. Ever. Only Ryan. :-p

5) Gino's Ego

Gino has a huge ego and a fierce competitive streak. Specifically when it comes to anything that Bruno does. Anything Bruno does, Gino can do a thousand times better. Never mind that pesky little hundred pound difference!

Fetching logs from the river?

No problem!

Fetching logs and swimming at the same time?

Easy peasy!

Catching snow balls?

Any idiot can do that!

Lunging for Frisbess?

Please! That's child's play!

We try not to laugh at him too much. He's entitled to his little Napoleonic ego. Having a large meathead brother constantly overshadow your skills can be frustrating. You have to remind people every now and again that size is not a limiting factor!

Secretly, I know he idolizes Bruno. He just won't ever admit it.

And there you go, folks. I hope you had a good laugh with me. This was a fun thread, despite the fact that it took me eons to finally reply. But I have a good explanation! My computer pushed daisies when I first tagged by Pia, taking along with it some of the pictures I wanted to use in this thread. But excuses are like asses, right? Everyone has one and they all stink.

At least it was worth the wait, right? ;-)

Now, we're tagging Buzz's Food Lady. We want a glimpse of Buzz Buzz Full O' Fuzz's inner most life.

Get at it, Rossie! Gimme some Buzz!

Apr 23, 2009


When surfing the internets,
don't forget that Big Brother may be
watching YOU!

"Huh? What?
I thought I was the big brother!"

Apr 21, 2009

Muscle Man

"So I like totally joined this awesome new gym
and have been hitting the weights.
I've been working my pecs and deltoids out mainly.
Aren't they raging?!"

Apr 14, 2009

Big Britches

Carmela decided I didn't have enough my plate this week and went into heat. I wasn't sure if she'd been spayed when I found her (I was pretty much betting on the fact that she wasn't given the condition I found her in), so today she confirmed my suspicions.

I've never dealt with a female dog in heat. I am clueless. And thankfully, so are two of my boys (who are neutered by the way!). But there's one certain boy in particular who just cannot stay away from Carmela while she bats her eyelashes and sashes her little butt around.

::cough::: GINO :::cough:::

While he may have his twig, his berries are long gone (thankfully!). But still, that doesn't stop him obsessing over Carmela. So these two are being kept separate! VERY separate!

Clueless as to what to do, I at least know that Carmela needs some sort of doggy panties to help catch the small amount of blood she leaks. I drove over to my locally owned pet store and was ecstatic to find doggy pants on clearance for $1.99.

"Do these pants make my butt look big?"

"Huh? So do they? Come on! You can he honest!"

"Say one thing about my butt looking big
in these pants and kiss your face goodbye."

"Why won't Bruno look at me?
It's my pants huh?
They scare him. Big $%^#@ baby!"

"So seriously...I have to wear these for how long?"

She will be spayed very, very, very soon. As soon as my vet gives the clearance, them parts are coming out!

So readers, I ask for your advice. Besides keeping Carmela under my eagle eye watch and all times and never leaving her unattended, what else should I be on the look out for?

ⓒ 2012 Mary Williams All Rights Reserved.