Jan 31, 2009

Taking Back The Empire!

The Canine Mafia set to conquer what is known as Empire Mine.

"I guess this might be fun," says Vinnie.

"Where are we going again?" asks Gino.

Empire Mine!

"What's so special about there?" asks Gino.

Well, it used to be the largest source of gold in California. It also has really cool trails!

"Trails?!" exclaims Vinnie.
"You mean as in roads with wildlife poop??"

Sigh. Yes, I guess.

"Wheeee!" shouts Bruno.
"Let's find us some wildlife poop!"

"Hey, Dad?" asks Bruno.
"Do you know where we could find some
wildlife poop around these parts?"

"Seriously?" asks Carmela.
"The boys really like eating poop?!"

"Hey!" shout Bruno and Vinnie.
"Don't knock it until you try it!"

"No thanks, boneheads," replies Carmela.
"I'll, uh, take your word for it."

In addition to, um, wildlife poop, Empire mine also has a lot of the mining equipment used to mine for gold on display. It was quite fascinating.

"Hey, Vinnie?" asks Bruno.
"Do you know how to work this thing?"

"So where do the cookies come out from?" inquires Bruno.

If you're ever in the area, take a trip to see Empire Mine. Just be careful of a gang of hoodlums I heard that target people crossing a bridge. They empty all your pockets and search for cookies!

Jan 29, 2009

Tiny Tinkerbell

I supposed to I should be used to Carmela's size by now. The fact that she is 3lbs shouldn't phase me anymore. But every now and then, it will.

Like, for example, when she hangs out near Bruno. My eyes almost pop out of my head when I see that Bruno's paws are bigger than her head.

Or how Blue, who weighs barely 11lbs, is waaaaaaay bigger than Carmela.

I hope this phase ends soon. My eyes can't keep popping out of my head on a daily basis. ;-)

Jan 27, 2009

Jan 25, 2009

This is War!

There was a squabble recently within The Canine Mafia...

"Yay! There's a reindeer stuffie
for me under the Christmas tree!" exclaims Gino

"No!" shouts Carmela.
"You have to share!
It's for the both of us!"

"Tell him Ma," says Carmela.
"Tell him he has to share!"

It's true, Gino. You have to share. Sorry!

"Nooo! I don't wanna share!" whines Gino.

"You heard, Ma!" shouts Carmela.

"DO NOT!" shouts Gino.

"DO TO!" shouts back Carmela.

"This is war, mister!" warns Carmela.
"I will bite your face off if you don't share!"

"I dare you to bite it off!" replies Gino.
"You couldn't hurt me if you tried!"

"Gimme the toy!!!" cries Carmela.

Bruno, I could use a little help with your little brother and sister over here.

"Alright you pipsqueaks," says Bruno.
"Break it up and give me the toy."

"But it was under the tree for me!" squeals Gino
"It's MY toy!"

"Correction," clarifies Bruno.
"It WAS your toy!"

Canine Mafiosos, Canine Mafioso, The Dogfathers, Canine Mafia

Jan 23, 2009

A Portrait of Carmela

When I saw a Twitter about Leigh Jackson's 2009 project, I thought "What an awesome use of such talent!"

I sent in Carmela's portrait along with Carmela's story. I figured Leigh must already have hundreds of submissions, but I'd give it a shot anyway. If anything, it would give me a chance to put down Carmela's story in writing.

A few days later, Leigh wrote back saying she was going to paint Carmela. I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming!

And so here she is...

Leigh, you have done an awesome job! We are honored that you chose Carmela as one of your 2009 projects! Thank you!

If you are interested in participating in Leigh's 2009 Project, please visit her website at: http://www.noisydogstudio.com/index.php?main_page=page&id=60

Jan 20, 2009

Blue Ridge Hike

The weather was so gorgeous today. It seemed like such a waste to spend the days indoors doing boring house stuff. So we rounded up The Canine Mafia and off we went in search of a new trail to explore.

Google led me to Blue Ridge Trail and I was ecstatic to have found a trail so close to home. I printed directions, handed them to Ryan and we loaded the crew into the car. It wasn't until we got to the trail that maybe I should have read the fine print: extremely difficult trail.

"Hey Ma! Whatcha talking about?
This trail ain't so hard!"

0.25 miles later...

"Oomph! Give me a second
to catch my breath."

I should have read the description of the trail that said it's a very, very, very, very steep uphill climb up to high elevation. Did I mention that it was very steep?

Regardless, we continued forward.

At the end (or should I say at the very top?) of the hike, we were promised to be rewarded with majestic views of Lake Barryessa and gorgeous views of Sacramento. It was very well worth the sweat, blood and multiple spills I took getting to the top to enjoy these views.

It was also very refreshing to see land untouched by man for as far as the eye could see.

But it wasn't easy getting to the top!

Carmela made me even more tired just looking at her. She kept bouncing around like a jack rabbit and zigzagging all over the place. I never saw her pant once. I kept wondering where the hell she kept getting all this energy from.

"It's my new sports bra that I'm wearing.
You should try it!"

But she was a very good girl. She kept coming back down the trail to check on me and make sure I was still behind the boys.

"You still there, Ma?"

Poor Gino was trucking along as best he could.

"How much longer to the top?"

"One hundred million more miles!"

I have no pictures of Vinnie because Vinnie is smart. He noticed I was trucking along at a very slow pace and decided to stick with me the entire trail. Which unfortunately, is too close of a range for my camera lens.

Once we were at the top, coming down seemed twice as hard. Ever try to balance on the balls of your feet for 2 miles straight? I took a pit stop at some point only to see Carmela went to go play in some brush and I noticed she had quite the fan club forming. Above her that is...

Those things keep calling me dinner!"

"I feel like Mexican food tonight!"

Now multiply those vultures by ten and you have her fan club. I had to leash her up the rest of the hike down so that they'd look for dinner elsewhere.

Even thought this trail felt like it was going to be my death, I am proud to say we made it all the way to the top! The Canine Mafia never gives up! They may be bums at time, but today, they were bums in action!

Take It Off! ~!~Canine Mafia~!~

"Ma, take this sock off, please!
I promise to not lick my stitches..."

"You know fully well that he is lying.
He'll start to lick his stitches
two seconds after you take the sock off."

"Besides, Bruno in a sock provides so much comedic value!
Let's not waste the opportunity to post
pictures of him looking mighty foolish! "

"Whatchoo mean us looking foolish
is never a wasted opportunity??"

Jan 19, 2009

The Needleman

Gino went to the vet's today.

This year is different. This year, The Mafiosos and any feline siblings are only going to the vet for routine visits. No emergency illnesses, no mysterious lumps needing to be removed.

So I am glad to report that today's visit was merely a routine visit.

"Seriously? I can't change your mind about this?
We're really going to see The Needleman?"

Actually Gino, there has been progress in the veterinary field. There are now Needlewomen, too. In fact, the vet you are seeing today is a woman.

"A woman you say?
Perhaps I can distract her
with my famous fishy smelling kisses!"

Alas, the vet was not distracted. She checked out Gino's eye to make sure his corneal ulcer is not flaring up. I am happy to report it is not, and in fact, I shall now take this moment to threaten said corneal ulcer.

Dear Corneal Ulcer,

You will not, not even for a nanosecond, think about flaring up and causing my Pug any problems. Don't make me come after you.



Gino was an absolute gentleman and was winning everyone over with his calm demeanor. I wish I could say it was because I trained him to be so at the vet's, but it's because we walked to the vet's. I'm sure he was pretty darn beat from yesterday's snow adventure and then today's mile walk to the vet's office. So the secret to having a complaint dog at the vet's office? Tire him out. :-)

The only procedure he was not OK with was having his temperature taken rectally. I had to do some serious restraining moves on him, because he fought back like hell. In fact, I think I might have heard him scream "EXIT ONLY!!!" when the thermometer went in.

We did have a small, tiny pitfall. Gino is on a two week course of antibiotics and prednisone for a bacertial skin infection he is battling. We went out and bought special dye and perfume free detergent to wash all blankets and beds he comes in contact with in an effort to rule out environmental allergies. So readers, if we could ask for just a small bit of juju to kick bacteria ass, we'd highly appreciate it.

In other good news...the husband managed to fix the lens I broke yesterday!

Yes, I do have cookies for each dog based on size.
Yes, I know that I am a dork for doing so.

That's another thing to add to the list of reasons why I keep him around. :-) Thank you Ryan! I promise to put my camera away inside the bag after every use. Scout's honor.

Jan 18, 2009

More Snow Fun!

Today would have been a completely crappy day. I broke one of my favorite lenses this morning and could have started crying. I went to grab my camera bag only to forget that I set my camera on top of the bag instead of putting it inside the bag when I returned from out last snow trip.

Yup, you guessed it...

My camera fell straight to the floor and POP! There went my lens. Broke in half. My husband, Mr. MacGyver, said he'd try to repair it, but well, I was still upset at myself for being so careless with my equipment.

I needed to get out of my funk quickly, because we were soon to meet up with our good friends Bison and Lindsay for a snow trip. As soon as I saw Bison and Lindsay get out of the car, my face was all smiles. So today, I thank them for helping me get out of my crappy mood.

So here begins the tale of our snow trip with The Mafiosos' cousins...

"So all this white stuff is called 'snow' you say?"
asks Lindsay.

"Oh God, you've brought me to this cold
white stuff place again?"

"Yeeeehaw! I like the snow a lot better
than last time! It's a lot warmer out here today,
which means I won't freeze my curly tail
off like last time," says Vinnie.

"I agree with Vinnie!" exclaims Gino.
"The snow is tons of fun!"

"GAH!" shouts Gino.
Who threw that snowball?!"

that *might* of have been me!" says Bruno.

"Ack!" exclaims Bruno.


"QUIT IT!!!"

"Whomever threw those snowballs
is DEAD MEAT!" threatens Bruno.

"Nice aim, Dad.
Keep landing those nice shots at his
freakishly large head!" encourages Gino.

Bruno got pelted with snow balls!" laughs Bison.

"Hey guys," says Bison.
"Were you guys teasing me when you said
there really is no internet connection out here?
No WiFi? Are you sure?"

"Hey guys? I was just
asking a question!
Wait for me!!!"

Wait! What is that?! Could it be?

Is that Carmela...SMILING??

"This place is not so bad," says Carmela.
"It gives me happy feelings."

"You repeat any of this, and I swear to God,
I'll kill you in your sleep with a chalupa."

Bruno wasted no time busting out his secret weapon...

"I rock these snow boots!"

"Hey, Vinnie!" shouts Bruno.
"Check me out in my snow boots!"

"There's just one problem
with your snow boots," says Vinnie.

"Yeah, I know...
They make my butt look kinda big," replies Bruno.

"But they are sooo totally worth it!" says Bruno
"They give me some awesome air powers!"

"Check it out!" shouts Bruno.




But Bruno...it seems these boots don't prevent your from making freaky faces!

"Enough of that Meathead," says Carmela.
"Take a picture of me climbing this mountain."

But, um, Carmela, that's not really a mountain...it's a tree stump.

"Shut up.
If you were my size, this would
totally be a mountain," clarifies Carmela.

Thank you Bison and Lindsay for showing us how to have a fun time with family in the snow!

Lastly, I leave you with this...

funny pictures
moar funny pictures
ⓒ 2012 Mary Williams All Rights Reserved.