Nov 24, 2009

It's That Time. . .

It's that time of the year again! Time to eat mountains food. Time to spend holidays with friends and family. Time to be thankful for you, our readers, because you're so kind.

What, you didn't know? You so are! You are so kind, in fact, that you're giving Bruno and me the week off! You knew that I would stuff myself until I looked nine months pregnant and needed time to recuperate from gorging on turkey and all the fixings. And for that, Bruno and I thank you.

Bruno says "Have a rocking holiday!"

Nov 19, 2009


See this face?

This face helps me out a lot. It somehow always knows when the yogurt in the fridge is very close to its use by date and is ready and willing to help make sure the yogurt is properly disposed of.

I don't even have to ask twice for help.

Lucky for me, this face is equipped with a very versatile tongue.

It can contort into various shapes to achieve maximum yogurt disposal.

Oh, but it doesn't end there. It can also fan out. That's right, it takes on different shapes depending on the requirement of the job.

But that's not all! It can also reach very far out so that no drop of yogurt meets the floor.

At least the floor manages to stay clean. . .

I can't complain I suppose. . . finding good help is hard.

And my helper is pretty darn handsome. I think I'll keep him around.

Nov 17, 2009

It's All About YOU!

"Hey, where is everyone?"asks Bruno.

"Hello? Anyone here want to play?"

"Anyone up for a game a hop-scotch?

Um, did you forget that this month is all about you Bruno? There is no one else but you.

"Oh yeah! That's right!
There was a poll and I won!"

"Oh yeeeeeeeah. . .
Life is good!"

"It's all about *me*!"

Nov 13, 2009

Just A Freakishly Large Taste

I thought I would give the readers a taste of what it's like hiking with Bruno. He's a barrel of fun. Unlike someone we know (::cough cough VINNIE cough cough::), he's completely uninterested in wild life caca. All he cares about is trekking.

"Let's go!!"

Occasionally he'll start to get a tad bit obsessive about finding a stick t0 chase, but mainly he's all about just trekking forward.

"Holy cow!
Will you quit bumping
your gums and get going!!"

He gets really impatient with you if he feels you are moving too slow. He waits in the middle of the road for you with this fake smile, as if saying "You move like a slug!"

"A slug is too fast
compared to how you move!"

But see, the hilarious part is that he tires out really quickly. In about 45 minutes, he starts to sneak off for some rest breaks. I find it hilarious because we've been hiking some serious trails once a week now for quite a while. It's not like this is his first hike.

The other comical aspect of this is that it's not as if we wouldn't notice that his big ol' butt is suddenly not standing in the middle of the trail waiting for us.

"I'm not resting!
I'm, um, checking the ground
for wildlife caca for Vinnie!"

He thinks he's real slick, doesn't he?

"I told you I'm NOT resting!
I'm checking out the local
wild flowers now."

Yeah, see, I'd almost believe you if it wasn't for the fact that you're laying down in the middle of WEEDS.

We tend to aim to hike in areas near rivers or streams so that his big butt can cool off quickly.

"Ahhhhh! My tootsies were burning!"

The water seems to recharge him. . .

"Let's go!!"

And we then go back to our ritual: him taking off and waiting for us impatiently in the middle of the road. Only to sneak off 45 minutes later.

"What can I say?
My union contract says
I'm entitled to frequent breaks
and I'm gonna take 'em!"

Nov 10, 2009

Slide Right Into It

A new week begins. I suppose for the optimists out there, this is good news. But for me, it just means that the weekend is still too far away.

It means a crazy work week filled with demanding vets and obnoxious horse owners. It means riding the bus for a 1.5 hour commute each way. It means less time to spend in the daylight now that the time has changed. It means. . .

"It means things are looking up!" says Bruno.

Say what?

"Look up!" explains Bruno.

Ok. I did. There's nothing there!

"Yes there is! There's opportunity!
Look, if life is a slippery slide. . ."

"Jump right in and enjoy the ride!"


Oh Lord. . . are you trying to give me a pep talk Bruno?

"Yes! I can see you'll be a hard sell,
but it's nothing I can't handle.
Here's some more advice for you. . ."

"Build a bridge and get over it!"

Ok, now that one totally made me laugh. Silly boy.

"Then my job here is done!
Now, go out there and
spread some smiles!"

Nov 5, 2009

They Call Him Bruno

Bruno has many nicknames. Most notably, his primary nickname in the blogging world is "FLH" which stands for Freakishly Large Head. It's the most apparent thing about him-- this huge head. Lord knows where he got it from, but it's here and it's here to stay.

See, I even have photographic proof that he was born with a normal-sized head. Somewhere he must have drank water laced with FLH hormones.

At home, he has much kinder nicknames bestowed to him by me.

Sometimes, because I think I'm funny, I'll call him "Burno." I use this nickname whenever he gets a hair up his ass and starts burning rubber in the yard. Get it? Burn + O = Burno? Which sounds a lot like Bruno. . . I know, I know: don't quite my day job.

My secret nickname for him (er, well, it was until I shared it with ya'll) is "Big Daddy." I affectionally call him this a lot. I'll ask "Where's my Big Daddy?" just to hear his humongous tail whacking away against the walls or nearby coffee table. When I call him this, I elicit rapid fire tail wagging and I live for that.

So I thought I'd share a recent picture of me and my Big Daddy. With his FLH in full glory. And, if you happen to decide I also have a FLH, please, don't tell me! :-)

Nov 3, 2009

Bruno + Ball

As requested, this month begins all Bruno, all the time. At least until the end of the month. :)

"I'm bored. There's nothing to do."

"I already destuffed the toy
I was given earlier. . ."

"I wish there was something
fun to play with around here."

Um, Bruno...sometimes what we seek is right in front of us.

"Oooooh! Well lookie here!
What's this?"

"My favorite ball!"

"What? It was not right in front of me
that entire time! No way I could have
missed seeing my favorite ball!"

"I do all sorts of cool thing with my ball.
I try to wrap my jowls around it.
But for some reason, I can only seem
to get one jowl around it."

"But if I really focus,
I can get both jowls around it."

"Sometimes, when Carmela calls me mean names,
I take it out on my ball.
I get all mad at it..."

"And I bite down on it...HARD!"

"Don't worry!
I don't ever hurt the ball!"

"I've got little rice teefies that don't
do much damage.

"See, nothing but little rice teefie marks!
The ball is still intact!"

"But the best part about my ball
is the fact that is makes an awesome
extra skin holder!"

"Seriously? You all wanted an entire
month of this??" asks Carmela.


Out of this blog, missy! In fact, out of this blog for the ENTIRE MONTH! The voters have decided they wanted Bruno, so quit inserting yourself into the storyline. I apologize; I promise that all forthcoming blogs are 100% guaranteed to be Carmela-free. Even if it means I have to go out and buy a can of Raid.
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