Sep 29, 2009

Safety First!

Today at the school yard, The Mafiosos couldn't stop congregating over something in the grass. This typically means a dead animal, so I quickly ran over to see what all the fuss was about. As I got closer, I realized that a stench was absent. That immediately ruled out my idea of a dead animal. So what in good heavens could be amusing The Mafiosos so intently?

Ahh...a dog collar! I picked it up thinking "Sweet! Second hand goods! I wonder which dog this will fit," only to realize upon closer inspection that the collar was broken. It was one of those quick-release type collars and it had broken apart in the quick-release area. I can only imagine the panic the dog owner felt when that collar broke.

So I just wanted to take a minute to be a worry-wort. Take a minute today to inspect your dog's collar(s) and make sure they are in working order. While you're there, also take a minute to take a look at your dog's tags. Are they still legible? Have they worn down from all the swaying? Perhaps it's time to get a new one with updated information?

I'm giving you an excuse to get out there and shop. ;-)

Carmela would like to add that if you're going to get a new collar, make sure it's one that has lots of attitude. She's just sayin'...

Sep 24, 2009


Vinnie has been complaining that since the trip to the river was a bust (due to the search for a body), he was entitled to a rain check outing.

I couldn't argue with I turned to Ryan and asked for him to plan a new outing.

Ryan recently bought a cool new book titled 60 Hikes Within 60 Miles: Sacramento. Fulfilling Vinnie's request was the opportunity to put his new book to good use. He quickly located what seemed like a good trail in Lodi.

Carmela designated herself as a GPS. She quickly took her role very seriously.

"Uh huh...turn left there.
Yes, then make a right.
Then make pit stop at
Burger King and order me a #1."

We made it to Lodi in record time, but of course, Carmela was right there to announce our arrival.

This is it!"

And it was a bust. Seriously, we were highly disappointed. It was just a very small trail around a man-made lake. There wasn't even any wildlife caca for Vinnie to eat! Thank goodness for Ryan's new book! He busted out his book in the car and found another trail that seemed promising. It had an ominous name, but we were up for it. It was too far from our current location and besides, we owed Vinnie.

Off we went to The River of Skulls!

This time, we found solid gold. No one was around...or maybe that's not a very good sign for a trail with such a Halloween-like name?! Either way, it was too late to succumb to our fears over the trail's name. We were here, so we got started.

We had to cross a bridge to get started on the hike, and this is the opportunity Vinnie chose to show me he's afraid of bridges. Seriously Pug?? NOW??

"I'm scared! WAIT!
At least carry me over!"

So I did what any good pet-mom would do.

I left his double-curled-tail ass.

It took about three minutes before he decided I wasn't bluffing about leaving him (I was, but don't tell him that!) and he got over his fear. He came running down as if he'd pushed his internal turbo button.

"I can't believe you
were going leave me!"

"You're mean!"

Alright, alright. I'll make it up to you. What if I told you...

"Let me guess? There's

"Yup! I tasted some,
Er, I mean, I saw some over here..."


Here's an opportunity for you readers to laugh at me. Let me preface with the fact that I was raised in a concrete jungle. I'm a city girl through and through. The fact that I am out hiking is merely the outcome of Ryan's threats (i.e. "I'll make your iPhone disappear if you don't see the sun with me!"). So I just about crapped my pants when I saw this thing sitting in the middle of the trail.

Yep, totally the definition of a "thing." In fact, I was too chicken to take this shot. I made Ryan snap this shot using my zoom lens. I was too scared of the fact that it could be a mutant mountain lion or something (I can so hear you all laughing!).

Then Carmela sounded the alarm. I'm sure her bark was heard in the two neighboring counties.

And she continued to bark. And The Thing didn't move. Not one inch. Carmela increased the volume of her bark so much that I am sure people in Nevada heard it.

This caused her wingmen to launch into action!

"Ooooh! Fresh source of wildlife caca!!"

The Thing took off into the bushes and I called all three fart knockers back to me. Thank the lord they listened and as I stared at The Thing taking off into the mountains, I realized it was a freaking goat. The Thing turned out to be a goat! Silly me!

As the three dogs came back to me, I realized Bruno was no where in sight. What the...

It's a chuppacabra!
It's going to steal my blood!

"Ha ha! Bruno was scared
of a silly goat!
What a big chicken!"

"What? That thing could have so
totally eaten me with its fangs.
I bet if Vinnie thought it was coming after him,
he'd crap his pants.
Hmmm...that gives me an idea!"

Yeah, that gives me an idea, too. The idea to remind you that no one of you WEAR PANTS. I, however, do. And I did almost potentially soiled mine when I saw The Thing.

So Bruno took off into the bushes which gets my panties in a bunch because that means I have to check him extra carefully for ticks and burrs. But he seemed to be plotting something...and I saw a Pug come near where he was hiding. So I just sat back and watched.

I'm a chuppcabra and
I'm gonna eat ya!!"

It was quite funny to watch Vinnie crap his pants. Theoretical pants that is.

After all the fun was done, I lined up The Mafiosos for the obligatory group shot.

(Farking Carmela!)

"What??" asks Carmela.
(Farking Gino!")

They think they are so smart...refusing to all look at me at the same time in hopes I'll give up taking a group shoot. No way! I won't give in so easily!

I always get my way. :-)

Oh yeah, and guess who crossed the bridge without a care in the world on the way back to the car? ;-)

Sep 22, 2009

Search...And Rescue?

I want to thank all of you for your comments and for taking the time to introduce yourselves! It was great reading all of your comments and getting a glimpse of our reader's lives. It is such a trip knowing we have readers from all over the world! We thank you all for letting us know who you are. :-)

Alrighty, well, this week we set out to take out The Mafiosos on an outing to the river since the weather was particularly warm. It works out quite nicely when there is a large body of water nearby to cool down for hot dogs.

Usually, there's not much activity out on the river. We don't usually encounter much excitement. We do sometimes draw a crowd when walking all four dogs. People inevitably make comments ranging from the size of the dogs to the breeds. It's expected and we're used to it...

Only this time, no one made any comments. No one even glimpsed our way. I felt that was a tad bit odd since usually there is one person who will make a comment. It wasn't until I heard the helicopter that I figured out there was excitement down on the river...

It was hovering very well close to use. I could feel the pulsating chop of the propeller.

After some probing, I was able to find out a 9-1-1 call had been made reporting a body seen floating in the river. That explained the search boat that kept making it's way up and down the section of the river we frequent.

Later on in the day, it was reported that no body had been found and the search was called off. I had a stern talk with The Mafiosos about returning to the scene of a crime and they've all agreed to tighten the ropes on the rules.

Sep 15, 2009

Getting To Know You...

(This will also be up on Thursday so that anyone who wants to comment can get a chance)

I just took a glance at the number of Google followers for our blog and my eyes popped out! Are there really 40 of you out there that follow the adventures of The Canine Mafia via Google Friends?! Don't get us wrong, we're very excited! It's just that we never though the outings of four canines would gather such fan base!

This week we were also fortunate to receive three fan emails. The usual amount we receive is zero. We popped open the best bottle of wine to celebrate. Yes, I know, it doesn't take much to excite us over here at The Dogfathers but what can we say? We're simple like that.

So readers...we want to get to know you. Who are you? Who are your furry mates? In exchange, I'll share some background on a member of The Canine Mafia.

I'll start with Bruno.

Once upon a time, this young couple bought their first home. The couple wanted to add a dog to their family and began a search for one. Their search led them to this puppy:

This puppy grew very quickly!

Egads, he would just not stop growing!!

He would eat everything in site! This we are sure contributed to his gigantic growth spurts!

Thank goodness he finally stopped growing!

One day, we learned our huge puppy busted his hips. We're not sure how he did it, but he hid it very well for a long time.

The huge puppy pursued lots of swimming as a physical therapy effort.
He hasn't stoppped since.

And so here we are, five years later.
Me and this huge puppy...broken hips and all.

And there you have it...the Cliff Notes of Bruno. Now we want to get to know you! Please introduce yourselves and give us a glimpse into your world. We'd love to start getting to know some of our daily readers. It makes Bruno feel special. :-)

Sep 10, 2009

Saintly Hike

Once again, the weather's been in the triple digits. Which means hardly any activity for The Canine Mafia. They've been driving me nuts (and rightfully so) for any kind of activity, but the minute we head outside, everyone collapses on the nearest shady lawn. The only way to let them run around without succumbing to the heat is to head to a much more cooler area.

And since all four of The Mafiosos were acting like devils, I figured what better way to repent than to take a hike to San Pedro Mountain.

"Let's go, gO, GO!" shout the Pugs.

"Ok, it's still kind of hot here," notices Bruno.

"But that's ok!
"Let's keep going all the way to the top!"

What are you doing Gino?

"Oh, nothing.
Just helping Vinnie spot wildlife caca."

"See any?" asks Vinnie.
"I haven't seen one iota of wildlife caca!
I'm going to have to write this hike off as a bust!"

Alright Vinnie, your tongue's getting kind of crazy. I think it's time for a water break.

In fact, I have to admit that I am guilty of not giving the dogs enough water breaks. It's one of my bad habits I am reminding myself to remedy. I figure that if I'm trucking along, they're doing alright also. But I'm getting better to remember to stop for plenty of water breaks.

Next step is to buy a bowl that won't drown the dog should she fall in. ;-)

Alright! We made it to the top! WOOT!

Obligatory group shot!

Sep 8, 2009

School's Out For Suuuummmmmerrrrr!

We're fortunate to live near a school yard and summer break is still in progress. This means we can take The Mafiosos out to romp in the large fields more often. Which means I see more ridiculous Mafioso spats.

"What the heck are those two
knuckleheads running towards?" asks Carmela.

"Hey, buttface!" screams Gino.
"Slow your freakishly large head down!
What the hell got into you??"

I SEE A..."


"My ball! My beautiful ball!
It's all mine!"

"MA! Bruno took off and found a ball,
which he then popped!
And then he...oh.
You already knew? Darn.
Alright, I'll find something else to tattle on him about!

Sep 3, 2009

War In The Morning


Carmela! WAKE UP!

We're waiting for you to get up so we can start eating breakfast.

"Alright, alright!
I'm up. Jesus, it's bright in here!"

"Why do we always have to wait for her
in order to start breakfast?
It makes me sad to be so hungry!"

"Yeah, seriously.
I'm starving!" shouts Vinnie.

"Because, fart knockers," explains Carmela.
"The rule is: ladies first."

"'re a lady?!" asks Gino.

"Lemme clean my ear out...
I could've sworn I heard you wrong.
I could've sworn you said I wasn't a lady!" accuses Carmela.

"Yup. That's what I kind of said," replies Gino.

"THIS IS WAR!" declares Carmela.

"War?" asks Gino.
"More like a light massage.
You barely pack a punch!"

(notice a very worried fawn Pug in background)

"For breakfast, I want

"Apologize or I'll go straight
for your jugular!" threatens Carmela.

"Apologize!" screams Vinnie.
"She's stressing me out!"

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