FLH Prologe

The previous blog entry has a story to be told. You see, Bruno finally decided he had enough and took a stand. It was a great day indeed.


It all started with the request for some constructive critcisim.

"Hey Gino," says Bruno.
"If I scrunch my face up like this,
does it make my freakishly large heard look smaller?"

"Um, lemme look at it from this angle
in the light," offers Gino.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to say no.
In fact, it looks bigger.
Like you've started taking head steroids or something."

:::sobs:::
I'm just going to bury my freakishly large head
and never hold it high again!"






"I can still see your freakishly large head, stupid.
No amount of dirt can cover that thing," says Gino.





"Oh, and you're also ugly.
And your breath stinks.
And your momma wears combat boots."





"Don't talk about my momma!
I'll eat you alive Pug!" threatens Bruno.

ATTACK!

"AHHHHH! I take it back!
I just realized we have the same momma!!" screams Gino.

"Good! Now, take back what you
said about my head!" shouts Bruno.

"No! Hell no!" screams Gino.
"I can't take back the truth!"





"Yes, YOU WILL!" shouts Bruno.

"No, I WON'T! screams Gino.
"Don't make me call my back up!
BACK UP! I NEED YOU!"







"Do we have a
problem here Bruno?" asks Vinnie.






"Uh...no, not at all.
I'll just be on my way," replies Bruno.







"HA HA!" teases Gino.
"Don't mess with me, FLH!
My and my back up will take you down!"

"You just wait, Gino." threatens Bruno.
"I'll wait until your alone and then..."

And lo and behold, his threat came true...

Brotherly Love

"I take it back!
Your head is normal-sized!
I TAKE IT BACK!!!"

Polo Pugs

Fellow readers, I apologize once again for lack of blog posts last week. But fear no more! I am on a continued quest to make sure such an event never happens again! Alas, I only have so many puppy pictures with which to placate our faithful readers. :-D


If you may remember, Big Red a few weeks back sent the Pugs polo shirts. An unfortunate sizing mishap meant the Pugs were gifted these two green shirts. There were a great fit and definitely meant for torturing two Pugs to pose for pictures.


Need a date this weekend? Look no further! These two brothers are cheap dates!





Vinnie is rocking the open shirt look to let you know he's all about getting straight to the chase...and also letting his tongue hang out to let you know his tongue doubles as a tie in case you need him to look more formal.






Gino is rocking the shocked look because he really can't believe I would torture him like this.






Believe it buddy! I have lots to make up for! I left our readers hanging for an entire week! I needed to come back with something big!




This means no one is safe!

"Oh God...no, please!"




"You're going to do it aren't you?"

Yup.





And I must tell you that Gino does the shocked look just a tiny bit better than you.

"No way! I do it way better!"

Notice I chose not to torture Carmela. I do cherish my life you know! I'd hate for it to end prematurely at the hands of one devious Chihuahua hell bent on administrating revenge!

Bad Mary!

It's Tuesday...and I shall receive 50 lashings for not having a Mafioso adventure up! Alas, I was partying the weekend in Los Angeles with a friend and arrived home utterly exhausted.

Fortunately, I do know our readers' weakness and hence I shall exploit it...

3 Stooges (Minus One)

"Ma!!!
Bruno's running again with big sticks.
You know that's a recipe for disaster!"

"Get outta my way, Pug!
I'll spear you! I will!
I'll do it!"

.

"HEY! NOT FUNNY!" shouts Gino
"Stop chasing me with that stick!
Dude, you're gonna whack me in the..."

::::duck::::
"HEAD!!!"

"Ma!!!!
Grab your camera!
Burno's being 'special' again!" shouts Carmela.

Oh Lord...

St. Bruno

Poor Bruno. I really should start the application for his Sainthood.




He puts up with these tiny dogs with the patience of a saint. Lately, Carmela's been doing drive-by attacks on his FLH. She will run full speed towards him while he's laying on the floor. At the last second, she'll stand up using her back legs and use her front paws to slap his face.

Bruno is very confused by her actions. For starters, he doesn't even see her coming. She's like this fawn little blur, operating at turbo boost mode. Then, Bruno's unsure of what to make of her actions. Is she playing? Is she giving him a death threat?

"WHAP!"

Additionally, his poor jowls have been paying the price for no reason. They must taste like chicken.

No American Bulldogs were hurt in this photo.
Only one black Pug by a woman with a camera...

So readers, I'll let you decide. How many cookies should Bruno earn for putting up with this crap? ;-)

Family Portraits

Since the heat won't let up, I decided to play with my camera indoors and see if I could snag a group portrait of The Canine Mafia.

But you see, what I end up planning in my head never quite ends up executing the way I imagine it. In this case, Bruno decided he wanted no part of posing for a group portrait. No matter what I tried to lure him with, he wasn't having it. I think he was secretly afraid that the little pipsqueaks would make his FLH look even bigger.

Nonetheless, his refusal to cooperate didn't deter me. I'll work with what I got...

Only the next problem to arise is that I'm now working with two Pugs who share half a brain and one diva-like Chihuahua.

"Carmela's going to blow a gasket when she
sees you taking pictures without her in them!"

I might as well have set out to take blooper shots. Because that was all I was shooting.






Carmela decided she knew exactly why we weren't getting good shots and told me to let her handle it.

"Goddamn stupid Pug!
Stick your farking tongue back in your mouth!
You're ruining all of our shots!"

Damn...I guess she was right!

Chihuahua Complaints

It's been really hot here lately.

In an effort to not run up our air conditioning bill, I've been drawing down the window shades and running fans instead of turning the air conditioner on. When it's under a hundred degrees, the house seems to stay cool enough to not warrant turning the air conditioner on.

But I have a feeling a certain little dog disagrees...

"I'm dead...the heat has...
killed....meeeeeeeeeeeee.
Lord! I'm coming home to you!"

Fine, fine. I'll turn the air conditioning on. Yeesh!

"Did it work??
Yep, she's hitting the 'on' switch!
WOOT!"

P.S. Thank you for my get well wishes! I'm back in action. :-)

I Want To Hold Your Hand...Err...Paw

Some Bruno and Vinnie puppy goodness to make up
for my lack of blog posts all last week.



I do hope we are forgiven! :)